


Through Sickness and Secrets [Iatrogenic]

by NatashaRS



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Brief mention of attempted non-con/rape, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Non-Human Hux, Secrets, Sick Character, Sickfic, Touch-Starved, as usual, just a little bit, maybe smut, shh it's a secret, they hate each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-07-20 02:15:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7386649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatashaRS/pseuds/NatashaRS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren hates Hux. He hates him a lot. Which is why it's rather unusual that when, upon finding a sick general, he does not kill him. Cue sweet moments, bickering, and a not-so-human Hux.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [plinys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/gifts).



> So this fic was written as part of an exchange with the lovely @ [ plinys ](http://plinys.co.vu/) . It took me forever because I kept having ideas and then I didn’t like where my writing was going so I’d start over (and switch prompts). But here we are! This is based on her “Word of the Day” prompt.
> 
> **Iatrogenic**
> 
> 1. _ Adj. _ (of a medical disorder) caused by the diagnosis, manner, or treatment of a patient.

_Where the hell is he,_ Kylo Ren thought as he stormed through the halls of the _Finalizer_. He’d questioned a Lieutenant, but she only managed to sputter out a string of random syllables before scampering off. Of course, it wasn’t really her fault. The tall man’s normal attire of dark robes and a mask combined with his reputation as both unstable and powerful was bad enough, but the average human couldn’t expect to deal with all of that in the addition to a loud tone and the visible shaking of his body. He was furious, it was true, and he was out to find some answers. The knight had just learned that General Hux had ordered the ship towards the Trel base, despite Kylo’s insistence that they visit Dornar first.

Kylo stomped onto the bridge and turned towards the first officer that didn’t immediately run (it was more of a fast walk) away.

“Where. Is. General. Hux?”

The woman responded calmly, despite the clear fear in her eyes, “He’s in his chambers, sir.”

That was all Kylo Ren needed. He turned and stormed out in the same direction that he’d come, ignoring the voices behind him that warned him to not visit the general’s room.

A few lifts and some hallways later, the knight found himself, hand extended, using the Force to pry open a door that the infuriating red-head had refused to answer. Kylo had attempted to be civil and use the comms, but it was of no avail. And so, stuck in the predicament that he was in, Kylo took the route that he found most satisfying and forced the door open. Once the opening was large enough to step through, he made his way into the room, raising his voice to yell at Hux as the door slammed shut behind him.

What he saw, however, forced him to stop in his tracks. Hux was on his bed with his eyes shut tightly and teeth clenched, breathing hard as he tossed and turned...and he was naked. The only cloth that kept Kylo from seeing every nuance of the general’s body was a thin sheet tangled about Hux’s body. But there was something more - Hux had fur.

Kylo dropped to his knee at the side of Hux’s bed and slipped off his helmet, not, for some strange reason, wanting to startle the other man. He cupped the general’s face with one hand, turning it so that he could see him better, and used his other hand to feel the man’s forehead. As he had suspected, Hux was running a fever. Without saying a word, he got to his feet and made for the fresher to obtain the regulation first aid kit that all quarters had. When he returned, though, he couldn’t help but pause and admire the unusual beauty of the general. The man had a short coat of thin fur spanning from the back of his arms to his legs. It coated the entirety of his back and, although his chest had thin red hair, stopped at his sides. It even climbed up the back of his neck, where it gave away to human hair. The sight was strange, and most certainly unlike any that Kylo had seen before, but exotic.

A groan escaped Hux’s lips and broke Kylo of his trance. He made his way back to Hux’s bedside and began applying cold patches to the man’s body, before pulling some painkillers from the kit. Unfortunately for him, however, he realized that he’d have to wake the general in order to administer the medicine. Kylo lifted Hux’s torso away from the bed so that he could place a stack of pillows behind the man, and then gently set him down. Once Hux was in a sitting position, Kylo attempted to wake him in the same way that he remembered being woken up all those years ago. He slipped off a glove and poked his cheek.

It did not work, and Kylo frowned. The man was clearly in a deep (and by the sounds of his groans) uncomfortable sleep. And so the knight chose another method of waking the sleeping man. He sat down beside Hux and placed on hand on each of his shoulders, shaking him gently. It also did not work. Kylo frowned once more, but his expression turned into a small smile as a thought suddenly crossed his mind. When he was sick, members of the household would take turns reading him stories. There was once that he fancied in particular - the tale of two beautiful Twi’leks. One was cast into a deep sleep and put in a pod at the bottom of a lake. The second one, being a courageous and brave woman, heard of the first’s plight and went on a journey to rescue her. However, she was unable to wake up the sleeping Twi’lek no matter how hard she tried, until she gave her a kiss.

Kylo smirked at the thought of kissing Hux, and then pushed it quickly out of his mind when the scene in his head changed to be more heated. So, instead, he took off his other glove and gingerly placed his fingers on the man’s temples before pressing their foreheads together.

_I have to make sure you’re okay or else they’ll think I killed you and my master will have my head for taking away his best general,_ Kylo thought to himself before concentrating.

He allowed his mind go quiet, and then began his search for the wall. He knew that he had to be careful. Hux was not like the people he usually found himself using the Force on. There would be no barging into the man’s mind, it would only escalate the situation. And so Kylo patiently explored the dark void of the human existence until he felt something. A wall, thick and strong, and yet not brittle. He pushed forward with his mind, offering peace and the promise of help, but the wall did not budge. With a deep breath, Kylo stripped away his own hard exterior and asked once more - not with words, but with raw feeling. And the wall let him in.

The void exploded with color and a thousand images flooded into Kylo’s mind. There was pain, fear, anger, determination, and even a hint of love. Memories came and went so quickly that the knight was unable to grasp them, and then he heard the thunder. It brought everything down, causing the world to melt into rain and only rain. He couldn’t see through the storm and couldn’t escape it.

_Hux!_ he called out. _Wake up!_

_Hux!_

There was nothing, and then there was a small boy. Kylo ran to him, repeating Hux’s name over and over as the figure came into view. The small child turned as Kylo approached and their eyes met. The knight saw the pain in the boy’s soul - the pain in his blue-green eyes, and then suddenly he was pushed backwards.

His body reeled away from Hux of it’s own accord, and Kylo found himself staring into the same wide eyes.

“What are you? Did you?”

Hux, clutching his sheets tightly, looked down at his body and then back up at Kylo.

“Get out! Get. OUT!”

As sick as the man was, he was not a weak person. Kylo backed up off of the bed but did not leave.

“I want you gone, now. Do you think yourself clever for figuring out my secret? I don’t want to hear your taunts or your jabs. Get out! I don’t care who you tell. I will deal with it. I am the highest ranking member of the First Order below Snoke and I will bring fire. I will-”

Hux erupted into a fit of coughs and Kylo, remembering the medicine in his hand, rushed to him.

“Here, take these,” he said, shoving them into Hux’s hand with a cup of water.

Hux glared at him before swallowing the pills, wincing as he did so.

“Now lay down.”

“Why?” Hux snapped.

“Because you'll feel better.”

“No. Why are you helping me?”

Kylo recalled the excuse that he'd given himself.

“If you die they'll blame it on me.”

“Since when do you care?”

“I don't. I've just heard there's a lot of paperwork involved.”

It was a joke. A deflection, but a joke nevertheless. Kylo couldn't remember the last time he'd told one.

Hux shook his head, expression slightly softer, and adjusted himself. Kylo sighed as he sat back and grabbed at a nearby datapad.

“What are you doing now?” Hux asked softly.

“Contacting the medbay. You need assistance.”

“No!” Hux’s eyes widened as he snatched Kylo’s wrist with a death grip.

“You're sick.”

“Yes but, but I'm. My doctor, he's on leave...he's the only one. They can't see me like this.”

“Like what?”

“You mean, you don't know? But you can see me. I'm not,” Hux gritted his teeth, pain showing in his eyes. It reminded Kylo of the storm. “I'm not entirely human.”

Kylo shrugged.

“I don't see why it's an issue.”

“Of course you wouldn’t. I’ve read the file belonging to the name that cannot be spoken. It was hard to get a hold of,” Hux sighed, “Raised by senators and smugglers. Not as part of the Empire.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No. The Empire was great, and the First Order will perfect it’s failures. I’m the only imperfection here. It isn’t proper.”

A memory passed through Kylo’s mind, although, he realized, it did not belong to him. It belonged to Hux. Set in a beautiful home on a dark planet, an old man had spoken similar words to a young Hux.

“Your father told you that, didn’t he?”

“How do you know that?” Hux bit.

“I’ve seen your memories,” Kylo paused. “It was the only way to wake you. Unless you wanted me to give you a kiss.”

Hux’s eyebrow twitched and he turned away, suddenly aware of how exposed he was. He pulled up the covers, but it didn’t hide the faint shade of pink on his face. Although Kylo couldn’t tell if his companion’s color was caused by the fever or embarrassment.

“Speak of this to anyone and I’ll have you removed. Permanently,” Hux said.

“I’m afraid, General, that you have no power right now. I could do anything to you at the moment and you couldn’t stop it. You’re too weak,” Kylo responded, a menacing smile on his lips.

Hux met his eyes with fury, “Careful, Ren. You underestimate me.”

“Maybe I do. But you’re still sick. And you still need help.”

“No.”

“A medical droid then?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve logged personal days and left orders that I shouldn’t be disturbed. A medical droid would be suspicious. They’re work logs are easily accessible.”

“You’re not very bright for someone that commands so many men.”

“That’s ironic, coming from someone who demands respect by throwing tantrums.”

Kylo was ready to smack him, but Hux started coughing again. He waited to speak until the general was done.

“Why are you still here, Ren?”

Kylo got up and began pacing.

“You won’t accept medical assistance. I’ll help you. We need to figure out what’s wrong.”

“I’m beginning to think that you care.”

“I don’t.”

“Then you’re here to revel in my weakness.”

“Perhaps.”

Hux laughed weakly, and then coughed some. It dawned on Kylo that their conversation set a new record for how long they could go without one of them storming off. He was surprised to find that it was actually quite pleasant.

“What are your symptoms?” he asked, turning the datapad up to do some research.

“Head hurts. Eyes hurt. Everything hurts. And goes between hot and cold. My chest is trying to rip open. Throat hurts, did I mention that? Hard to swallow. Hard to move. Sleeping does nothing but I can’t do anything but sleep.”

“Nightmares.”

“Nightmares.”

“Any changes to your body?” Kylo glanced at the man with disheveled hair and fur. He still hadn’t gotten used to the fur.

“Like what?”

“Many diseases cause extra limb growth, skin color to change, etc. Especially those common in the territories we’ve been traveling through.”

“No. My fangs keep popping out without me consciously moving them.”

“Fangs?” Kylo looked up from the datapad.

Hux opened his mouth and, sure enough, fangs on both his top and bottom rows of teeth appeared.

“Interesting. Well we’ve ruled out quite a few things, but there’s still so many options. When did it start?”

“During my last sleeping cycle.”

“That’s pretty recent. We haven’t stopped on a planet in at least two cycles, but that doesn’t mean anything. Did you catch the Dyloxian Virus?”

“We just got a vaccine for it to eliminate any remnants onboard.”

“Yes but,” Kylo stopped, gears suddenly turning in his mind. He quickly pulled up some information. “When were you vaccinated?”

“Twenty-four hours ago, like everyone else.”

“So less than twenty-four hours since your symptoms started.”

Kylo stopped pacing and sat down again, “What are you?”

“Excuse me?”

Kylo motioned to the fur and Hux sighed.

“You expect me to tell you more of my secrets?”

“I expect you to let me help you not die.”

Hux glared again before speaking, “Amaran. My mother was an Amaran.”

“Vulpine species from Amar...,” Kylo muttered under his breath. “Did your doctor give you the vaccine?”

“No.”

“You’re really incompetent.”

At that moment, Hux was the one who looked like he was ready to murder Kylo.

“You should have consulted your doctor. The vaccine that was administered is fine for humans but can be lethal to Amarans. Luckily you’re only part Amaran, but if I hadn’t found you then you still could have died. There’s some information here on how to treat it.”

Hux pinched his brow, “So the medicine is trying to kill me.”

“That’s right.”

He looked up at Kylo, “But you want to help me?”

“Yes.”

At that, he groaned. “Things are so backwards right now.”

Kylo’s mind went to the Twi’leks.

“At least I didn’t kiss you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More angst and Kylo+Hux not being emotionally competent. But also sweet stuff. Oh dear.

“I suppose that would’ve made things worse.”

Kylo smiled softly and got up to collect medicine and supplies to aid Hux’s recovery.  _ I may have to visit the medbay if I can’t find everything here _ , he thought to himself before voicing his concern to his companion.

“I thought you didn’t want people to think that you’d murdered me?”

“What does that have to do with medicine?”

“You’re daft. You don’t think that being caught entering and leaving my chambers will be suspicious? Especially if you bring supplies. They’ll think you’re either trying to cover up murder or that you’re fucking me. I’m not entirely sure which I personally prefer.”

“If they think that we’re fucking then it’ll only add to my reputation. Who wouldn’t fear the man that has the highest general in the palm of his hand?” Kylo questioned as thoughts of power filled his mind.

“You think highly of yourself. Rather, they’ll all conclude that I’ve tamed the leader’s hound.”

“I’m hardly the hound here,” Kylo threw back.

Hux’s lip twitched and his eyes went blank. It was as if his entire personality shifted, and the man that Kylo could make jokes with was gone. Hux was back to the cold, calculating general that had murdered billions.

“Get out.”

“I will.”

Kylo didn’t think, he just grabbed his helmet and left.

~ * ~

Hux stared at the ceiling as he attempted to ignore the burning sensation that coursed through his body. The pain was getting worse, despite the medicine, and he wasn’t entirely sure that he could reach the datapad to research how to prevent his untimely death, much less actually leave his bed and retrieve the supplies that he needed. He knew that it was foolish to have sent Ren away, but it had felt good in the moment.

_ Ren is right. I’m just a hound. A weak half-animal. If I had been born entirely Amaran, it would’ve been different. But I’m a disgrace, a cross-species creature. Ren is right. Father was right. _

He looked over at the datapad that had been left next to him.

_ But I can’t die. _

Slowly, he reached for it, the pain only increasing as he moved. Once he retrieved it, he made his way to the medkit, slipping out of bed and onto the floor.

_ I’m going to have to crawl to get to it. I can’t stand up, _ he thought after a futile attempt to get onto his feet. He was halfway there when another coughing fit started, rendering his body useless.

_ I’m going to die, and it’s all because I was born like this. Why couldn’t I have been like Serane? Completely beautiful. Completely perfect. Completely human. Why? _

“I can hear your thoughts halfway across the ship,” a voice said from the comms. “Let me in.”

“Ren?”

“Let me in.”

Hux used all his strength to push a button on his datapad, and the door slid open.

“Dammit Hux,” Kylo said, dropping the box he had been holding to lift the general up and carry him back to bed. “Why are you like this?”

“I needed meds.”

“I know, I got them for you.”

“But I told you to leave.”

“I did.”

“You came back.”

“I did.”

_ This conversation is going nowhere. _

“Ren, did you get the-”

“Yes.”

“Fine.”

He sat quietly as Ren went to work, removing his helmet once more before administering medicines and checking Hux’s temperature with an actual medical device.

“Who’s Serane?” Kylo asked as he worked. He pulled out a small gray cylinder and held it over his left hand with his right. When he pressed a button, gel came out.

“No one.”

Kylo rolled his eyes before putting the cold gel on Hux’s chest and rubbing it in. The contact caused Hux’s body to shiver. It was a foreign concept to him, as his “condition” prevented him from having personal relationships with other people. Nevertheless, it was quite pleasant.

_ Ren doesn’t need to know that. _

“I’m bored. Tell me.”

“How do you know her name anyway? Can you read my mind?”

Hux was suddenly hit with panic, realizing that his earlier thoughts about Ren’s touch were less than professional.

“Some. Only really strong emotions, occasional words. I’m not trying to read it. I don’t actually want to. But it’ll take time for the connection to close.”

“From earlier.”

“Yes.”

Ren got more gel and Hux noticed that his chest was already starting to feel a little better. He could breath, at least.

“She was my sister.”

“Was?”

“Dead.”

“Were you thinking about joining her?”

“No,” he said. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“Then what?”

“She was human. All human. I always envied her. If I was like her, we wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t worry about dying due to a vaccine.”

“I’m sure other things would kill you.”

“You don’t count. You can’t kill me anyways.”

“Hmm. Sure. Different mothers then?”

There was a pause.

“Yes. My mother was Amaran, and my father had an affair with her while on a trip. But even then....even then things shouldn't have been this way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Amarans aren’t like other species. When they have children with members of another species, the children aren’t all cross-breeds. They’re either human or Amaran.”

“But not you.”

“No. My mother got sick when pregnant with me. The medicine they gave her had...repercussions.”

Kylo finished and pulled his hands away, leaving Hux feeling a little hollow inside.

“There’s nothing wrong with you. It suits you.”

Hux raised a brow, but Kylo turned around too quickly to see it. He headed to the fresher to rinse his hands and then came back, but by then Hux thought it best to not question the man’s comment.

“Here I am telling you about my personal life...you’re taking the staying about keeping enemies close seriously, aren’t you?”

“Ha. Maybe,” Kylo smiled slightly.

“Tell me something about yourself then. Before you were a great knight.”

“Like what?”

Hux didn't’ know how to respond. He hadn't expected an amicable response to his demand.

“I don’t know. What was being on the other side of the war like?”

“Boring. Dangerous. Then boring again.”

Kylo’s face stiffened, “Painful.”

“I thought I’ve heard you say that the pain draws you closer to the dark. I thought it was an excuse to not go to the medbay, but if not, then isn’t it a good thing?”

“If you look at it that way, I suppose it is. The Light is an illusion, constructed by those whose vision is obscured by unattainable ideals. Ideals which corrupt in the end, and lead only to misery. The Force is a source of power, and power cannot be tamed. At least those of the Dark are honest about that.”

“The Light sounds like the New Republic. Corrupt under a mask of foolishly wishful thinking. The First Order may be bold and dangerous, but we’re the only ones willing to do what it takes to bring true order to the galaxy.”

“It’s easy, you know.”

“What is?”

“To believe in the Light. In righteousness. In the power of peace.”

“I know.”

They fell silent for a while, each meditating on his own thoughts, before Kylo spoke again.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

“Do you want to try to sleep?”

“Not really.”

The twisted images of the dreams he’d been having flooded Hux’s mind.

“Nightmares...”

Hux nodded.

“I’ll wake you if you have any. You should sleep, you’ll need rest. You’re not even to the worst part of this yet.”

“Alright,” Hux responded, adjusting his pillows.

Kylo, who had previously been sitting on the edge of the bed besides Hux, put his legs onto the bed and leaned against the wall.

“I’ll tell you a story.”

Hux gave him a bewildered look.

“It’ll help. If you’d rather, I can force you to sleep.”

“I don’t need to be in more pain.”

“Then close your eyes and just listen. Long ago in a galaxy far, far away there was a planet on which Twi’leks lived...”

Hux’s eyelids slowly closed as Kylo talked on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know. (Oh I just remembered, I imagine Kylo's sister to be played by Sophie Turner)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note: I updated chapter 2 to be canon-compliant. Only a few minor changes regarding Hux’s parentage, doesn’t change the story. And since it’s been a while since I wrote Chp 1 & 2, here’s a recap: Kylo Ren was pissed off that General Hux had overridden his orders so he went to find him. He entered the general’s chambers using force and discovered that Hux has a secret - he’s part alien! Hux was also sick, and Kylo, for whatever reason, decided to take care of him. But then he pissed Hux off and left, only to return and give him medicine and then tell him a story to get him to sleep. There’s one other weird thing: they currently share a force-bond due to Kylo’s use of the Force to wake Hux.
> 
> Also, brief mentions of attempted rape/non-con.

When Kylo Ren woke up, the first thing that he noticed was the unusually hard surface underneath his face. It was warm, and soft, but certainly not a pillow. That - and he felt thin wisps of something tickling his cheek. The second thing he noticed was the soft, silky texture underneath his hand, which was cupped around something. In fact, his entire body was wrapped around something.

It was only after he opened his eyes and saw that he was not in his quarters that he realized what was going on. The great Knight of Ren had his body wrapped around General Hux. His face was on the still-sleeping man’s chest, his hand on the other side of his waist, and his leg thrown over the general's legs. Kylo stifled a laugh. It was the most ridiculous thing he's done since...well since before he was Ren. That and he couldn't help but be embarrassed that he thought highly of his rival’s body. He had to admit, the fur was extremely soft.

Kylo slowly untangled himself and put on his boots, which he'd taken off before falling asleep. Once his gloves and helmet were on, he slipped out of the room and into the halls of the Finalizer. It was both familiar and out of place when he involuntarily snapped at a distracted trooper to focus on his job.

* * *

 

The burning woke him up first, and was soon followed by an uncontrollable fit of coughs. His entire body shook as his chest expelled air outwards. Hux attempted to sit up, but it did not help. The coughs continued, each pause only as useful as the eye of a storm.

And then there was a hand on his chin, helping him drink something warm. The hot liquid - it tasted like the herbal remedies from Farath - melted away the pain as he swallowed and eased his coughing. When the hands drew away, Hux opened his eyes and saw the face of Kylo Ren - hair disheveled and brows taut with worry. 

“I'm fine,” Hux whispered. “Thank you.”

He propped himself up on his pillows as Kylo walked off to refill the glass he was holding.

“Where did you get that?” Hux questioned about the thermo-concentrator that Kylo was using to warm water.

“Got a few things while you were asleep. Figured they might help.”

_ I had no idea he was capable of being thoughtful. _

“No need to feel grateful. I told you, I'm just trying to make sure I won't take any blame.”

Hux snapped back, at least as best that he could given the weakness of his voice, “Don't worry, I'm not going to fawn over you like some damsel. And it's not like-”

He was interrupted by a new round of coughs, and found yet another warm glass in his hand to drink from.

“It's not like I have a clean reputation. I know. But I already told you, I can't kill Snoke’s favorite general.”

“Favorite?” Hux would've laughed but his throat burned too badly. “After,” he coughed, “Starkiller?”

“Starkiller was a weapon used to serve a purpose, and it did. The Hosnian system was destroyed. And you're still his favorite.”

Hux shook his head and tried to readjust once more, but nearly yelped when the muscles on his back tensed up and burned, rendering him unable to move.

“Fuck.”

“Your back?”

“It just started...out of nowhere.”

Here, I can help. We need to get you on your stomach.”

Slowly, painfully, and through both physical efforts and the Force, they managed to get Hux on his stomach, back exposed. He knew it was coming, but was ultimately surprised when Kylo got on the bed and threw a leg over Hux, kneeling over him. However, he had no complaints once the knight got to work on his back, melting away the pain with each touch. Gradually, the churning of his stomach calmed as Hux found that Kylo was not going to comment on the fur. The man simply massaged the general’s sore muscles.

“Where did you learn?” Hux whispered.

“Training.”

“Under...your old master?”

“All of my training. The Force is not as simple as many like to think. There is the fighting, the lightsabers, and what you call the “magic,” but there is much more to it than that. To master the Force, you must understand life on all planes. Train in many practices...”

“Isn’t this too much like the Light though?”

“No. The Force is not inherently Light or Dark. It is balance. What you choose to do with it is important.”

“It’s hard to imagine Snoke saying things like that.”

“That part wasn’t from him.”

“Oh. So this doesn’t help with your current training?”

“No.”

“Then what benefit do you get? Ah...hurts right there.... What - thank you - benefit do you get from any of this?”

“Well...”

Hux felt a finger trace a river down his back and felt a pleasant tingle go up his spine.

“You have been naked this entire time.”

“You,” he stopped to cough, “You’re attracted to me?”

“Yes, General.” Hux went pink.

“I see. That presents...opportunities.”

The feeling of blood rushing down his body was hard to ignore.

"It does. I could...," there was a pause as Kylo shifted his position, placing a forearm next to Hux's head before leaning over so that Hux could feel his clothing against his own back. "oblige you. It has been a while for me.

_ Me too _ , Hux thought, and then suddenly felt an uneasy feeling in his chest. There was no way to explain it. The state of his erection told him that he wanted to have sex with Ren, but hearing that the man was merely craving sex because it had been a while had caused Hux to feel. He hated feeling. And he hated figuring out what his feelings meant.

"Perhaps I don't want it right now."

"Oh General, in the state that you're in, I'm not sure you could do much if I decided I wanted you badly enough."

Delicate fingers danced on Hux's side and he let out a heavy breath.

"You wouldn't be the first to try. And you wouldn't be the first to fail."

"Is that so, General?" Kylo asked before biting on Hux's ear ever so softly. 

_ Fuck. _

He almost gave in, almost said yes, but the feeling in his chest was persistent. 

"Casual sex isn't always safe. But I keep myself protected."

"I can't imagine anyone on the ship doing something to you. Wanting, perhaps, but acting?"

"Not on the ship. When I visit planets I...seek opportunities. I take what I can in this state. If someone doesn't mind the fur and doesn't know me, it works out. And if they try something, well. Let's just say you don't want to do that."

"I see. So I'd just be another in a long line of...opportunities."

_ Isn't that what you want? _ , Hux thought, shivering suddenly even though he wasn’t cold.

"You could put it that way," Hux told the warm figure on top of him. "But I'm feeling too," he coughed, "sick at the moment anyway."

Kylo sat back up on his knees and finished the massage, covering up Hux with the sheet when he was done. He didn't say anything the whole time, he just worked. Hux had a gut feeling that Kylo wasn't offput by the rejection, if you could call it that. He was clearly interested in the knight. No, it was something else, something that he couldn't quite put a finger on. 

“I see. Your drink is by your bed,” Kylo said, suddenly getting up and grabbing his helmet.

“Where are you going, Kylo?”

“Out. I’ve been stuck in here with you and I need a change of scenery.”

“I didn’t ask you to come in here, you just barged in!”

“Because you changed course. You went over my head!”

“I had to. And besides that, you could’ve left.”

“No I couldn’t have. You were sick.”

“You didn’t have to take care of me, Ren,” Hux spat.

“No I didn’t. Not if you’d bothered to be competent about your health!”

“And how is that my fault? I was trying to do the right thing and get vaccinated.”

“How is it your fault? You should’ve known better! You’re not human!”

“I-I can’t control that,” Hux said softly.

“That’s not my problem,” Kylo said, and Hux shattered.

His eyes went wide as he stared at Kylo, but they didn’t go blank. His mask didn’t return. He didn’t order Kylo to leave, he retreated. He lost his breath and started shaking. Unable to do anything, to change anything, to fix anything, he found himself frozen in his own personal hell. A world of chaos and uncontrollable, undefinable emotions surging through his mind and body, and the burn of disease to accompany it.

And then he felt calm. Tranquil.

_ Armitage. I’m staying, but I’m going to change, _ a voice said in his head.

Kylo stepped into the fresher and Hux collapsed onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

_ Why did I break? Why him? Why now? It’s been...years. _

Slowly, surely, he dissolved into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is jeaaaaaalous. And poor Hux, he is starved for affection. And sick. That part also sucks.
> 
> (Is this making any sense? I hope it is.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience, here's the last chapter <3
> 
> Hux and Kylo finally get things sorted out.

Kylo sat on the very edge of Hux’s bed while the sick man slept, his expression distorted and cheeks red. The medicine was surely preventing his death, but it was not a magic cure-all, not in the case of Hux’s special condition. Amaran’s were a relatively rare species in the galaxy and therefore not many medical resources were devoted to them in the First Order. Kylo folded his legs beneath each other and straightened his back. He smiled internally when it occurred to him that he was about to use Hux’s detested “magic” to help the man in place of the failure of the science that he worshiped so much. Science or not, it was irrelevant, and he closed his eyes to drown himself in the darkness of the abyss.

Everything was still for a moment - tranquil. Far out in the distance, too far to see, he felt the presence of a few sparks. Snoke he could feel clearly, but the rest were too weak in the force, not yet trained and not yet ready. He pushed the Knights of Ren away from his mind and stepped beyond the veil of darkness, to a place deeper and emptier. There, he found the wall again. This time it let him in, as he already held the ethereal key.

There was thunder once more and a great storm followed. The clouds roared above him and each drop of rain burned his skin, an attempt to push him out of that chaotic place, and something clicked inside Kylo. He saw the terrible might of the storm and he felt the deep pain that Hux retained in the depths of his heart. He felt the turmoil and the invisible bonds that chained every part of the general, physical or otherwise. He recognized the pain as being similar, perhaps identical, to his own. And so he reached out.

Kylo reached beyond the burning water that clouded his vision and he felt a hand. All at once, the wind ceased to blow and the clouds ceased their commotion. A beaten and bruised man covered in fur looked up at him and then they were in the Finalizer once more, as if it had all been a dream.

“Why?” Hux wondered, staring at Kylo.

“We are like two fires, it seems. Fierce, powerful, destructive...”

“Fire added to fire is a bad idea then.”

“It is,” Kylo thought.

“Is this some sort of apology?”

Kylo looked at Hux’s unusually pale face and said nothing, he simply stood and retrieved another warm drink.

“Had you the talent, you would have made a great Force user,” he said softly.

Hux shook his head with a short movement, “And be like you? I’d rather not.”

“You’d learn to control it,” Kylo replied, lifting the drink to Hux’s lips.

Hux took a sip, coughed, drank once more and looked directly into Kylo’s eyes. Despite his illness, his expression held the ferocity of a thousand suns.

“I have it under control. It must have been your ridiculous bond. Which, again, I didn’t ask for.”

Kylo curled his lips up cruelly and placed a palm on Hux’s forehead.

“Go to sleep.”

He got up and placed the drink aside, searching for one of the medreaders so that he could take Hux’s vitals.

Hux rolled his eyes and then stared for a few seconds longer than what would be considered polite.

“What is it, Armitage?”

“That uniform, where did you get it?”

Kylo looked down at the First Order Officer’s uniform that he was wearing and smiled.

“I killed someone. It was a necessity, I needed something lighter to wear.”

“You did not, Kylo Ren.”

Kylo didn’t respond, he just kept on smiling. In truth, he had his own set of regulation uniforms that he had ordered due to a gut feeling that they would be useful. His intuition proved to be correct, and he was grateful to have them on hand. Of course, he found it more amusing to not explain all that to Hux.

“It doesn’t matter. If you actually did kill someone I’ll have your head. For now, I need to drink more.”

He attempted to reach for his drink but winced and recoiled his arm.

“I’ll get it,” Kylo said, and he sat down next to Hux again and used once hand to gently tip Hux’s chin up and hold it, while the other lifted the cup.

Hux’s cheeks reddened slightly and a small burst of warmth shot through Kylo as he felt proud of his accomplishment. When Hux was done, he set the glass aside but just out of Hux’s reach again. Kylo knew what he was doing, but he didn’t want to admit it to himself.

“Why did you get mad earlier?” Hux asked.

“According to you, I’m always mad,” Kylo retorted before asking himself when he and Hux became such good friends, and when he was one to joke around again. That jokester that once existed in him, that was modeled after a man now dead, had died himself some time ago.

“I’m serious, Kylo,” Hux said flatly, his eyes cold and dead.

“Why did you,” Kylo leaned in close, his breath on Hux’s face, “break.”

Hux may have broken before, but he was not about to do it again. Kylo sensed it coming before it happened. He felt the raw passion, the flame as it burst forward well ahead of the body that followed, and yet it still took him by surprise. Even with all his training, his mind managed to lag behind his feelings, and he suffered the blow from Hux’s fist. Hux, unfortunately, also felt the pain, as his irrational action tore through his arm and back and pierced his lungs.

Kylo didn’t know what to do. He was so surprised - perhaps because he had let his guard down around his...friend...or perhaps because of the feelings he was fighting to keep locked up - that he sat there and stared at Hux whose chest caved as he cradled his arm. The knight reached up and touched his face at the point where he was hit. Just below his cheekbone, but within range of his lip, he felt the pain. It was nothing to him - an insect and no more, but he knew it would bruise and that if he licked his lips he’d feel the coppery taste of blood. He didn’t move until Hux finally uncoiled and looked up at him.

“Why are you like this, Ren?”

There was a pause.

“I’m like you.”

Kylo stood up and made his way to the fresher once more and Hux slumped down into the comfort of his bed.

~ * ~

Hux heard Kylo rummaging around for something and felt a pang of annoyance, so he flipped his pillow over his head and held it in place against his ear as he turned onto his side, face to the wall. He was clenching his teeth and giving himself a headache, which, on top of his illness, was absolutely dreadful, and yet he almost managed to drift back into a chaotic sleep when he felt something on his back.

He nearly jumped when the cool substance seeped through his soft fur and made contact with his skin.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Mkn or kk bbberr.”

“I can’t hear you,” Hux responded, realizing that he, a debatably great general, was acting like a brat.

The pillow was pulled away from his ear and Kylo repeated himself.

“I’m making your back better.”

“Oh,” Hux responded.

“You hurt it, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Kylo calmly massaged ointment onto Hux’s back, ensuring that it made it to the sick man’s skin.

“Is that SerJu Cream?” Hux asked eventually, breaking the silence.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure? It’s usually too thick for my fur.”

“I thinned it,” Kylo responded, still working.

Once again, Hux found himself in a predicament. Someone was touching him. Kylo was touching him. All at once his neck was warm and his blood was being severely mismanaged. Hux had half a mind to throw Kylo out and deal with his “emotions” (and the unpleasantness that always follows after when you’re sick), but, in truth, the cream was helping his back a lot, and the contact, despite not being sexual in nature, made him want to purr. An electric tingling sensation crossed over the surface of his skin, both relaxing him and exciting him further. It also didn’t help that Hux knew Kylo was wearing an officer’s uniform, and it especially didn’t help that he looked so good in it.

“What’s wrong?” Kylo asked and Hux debated the sincerity of the concern in his voice.

“Nothing.”

“Are you sure?” Kylo asked as his hand trailed further down Hux’s side until it crossed under the sheet Hux had draped across himself. Just as his fingers danced above the line of Hux’s undergarments, Hux ordered Kylo to stop.

“Why?” Kylo said, a slight edge to his tone.

“I’m sick.”

“But if you weren’t, would you?”

Hux didn’t answer.

Kylo pulled his hand away and went back to rubbing in the cream.

“Do you find me that displeasing to look at? You’d say yes to anyone that didn’t know you, but not me when I offer - and I’ll even keep your secret.”

Hux wasn’t sure how to respond. He was feeling things again. It hadn’t been that long that he’d had Kylo as a companion and yet the man had already ripped apart his whole being.  _ What is wrong with me? _ He focused on the surface problems that his mind brought up and refused to acknowledge the glimpse of hope that his heart felt when he realized that, in his statement, Kylo practically said that he was jealous.

“I thought I could feel the desire coursing through you...we’re still connected, you know,” Kylo continued.

“You and your connection,” Hux finally huffed, “I don’t want to fuck you Ren, and I don’t want this magic of yours manipulating me.”

“Manipulating?” Kylo asked, and Hux sensed no edge in his voice.

Hux craned his neck and stared at Kylo, “That’s what this is, isn’t it? You’ve noticed it, haven’t you?”

His head snapped back as he coughed, which sent pain throughout his body and only resulted in an even larger coughing fit. He complied as Kylo helped him adjust his body so that he was sitting up and facing forward once more, and he eagerly accepted the drink that he was offered.

“Better?” Kylo asked.

“Yeah.”

“You were saying?”

Hux never knew Kylo could be patient, and yet he felt no surprise.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed. You and I, things are different. We fought - like fire, you said - but we’re also getting along. Like old friends even. Yet it wasn’t too long ago that we couldn’t stay in the same room as each other. I suspected that it was this bond of yours, that your meddling created, forcing a false sense of security. When it wears off, we’ll be back to normal. And no matter what you...we...want now, we’ll regret it once this is all gone.”

Kylo stared at Hux for a moment and Hux focused on the drink he kept in his hands. It was a bit odd, admittedly, but he felt no waves of hatred coming off the other man.

Finally, Kylo gave a short, soft laugh and joined Hux in his fixation on the comforting, unremarkable drink.

“While it is true that the Force can be used to create illusions, to plant ideas that aren’t there, it isn’t like this. When that happens, it either wears off in a matter of hours or it drives you insane. That is, in most cases. But this isn’t that...I didn’t create an illusion when I tried to wake you.”

“If that isn’t what happened, then what did?”

Kylo hummed for a moment before resting his eyes on Hux, who returned the look.

“It’s hard to explain to a non-Force user, but everyone has walls that protect them. Not real walls, of course, but they feel like walls. You may call them inhibitions, but that’s a relatively incomplete term. Anyway, you’ve seen my work. I tear through these walls and get what I want, and that leaves destruction behind me. But I didn’t do that with you.”

_ Maybe some part of him cared before. _

“I asked permission, so to speak, and you let me in. But that willingness forged a very real bond which made your mind very open to me. That openness will fade, but we’re still alike. We still experienced that connection. And the closeness, the familiarity...it won’t fade.”

“It’s like if you’re able to get to know someone all at once then?” Hux asked.

“That’s correct.”

Hux rubbed his thumb against the side of his cup before taking a sip.

“Kylo, why did you subject yourself to this willingly?”

“Well, Armitage, I didn’t think that I’d care for anything I saw. Just because I could know you didn’t mean I would like it. But...”

“But we’re alike.”

Kylo brushed a strand of hair out of Hux’s face. Hux looked at the man who was so soft despite everything that he was capable of, and thought. Eventually, he handed Kylo his mug to set aside and, as Kylo tried to get up, grabbed the man by his wrist.

“Sleep with me,” he ordered in a normal tone.

Kylo cocked an eyebrow and grinned.

“Not like that!” Hux said, neck growing warm. “Just. Lay down next to me. I feel like shit so just do it.”

“Yes, General.”

The two went to sleep, Kylo wrapped around Hux, softly stroking his fur, and Hux nearly purring at the sensation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! There's a short epilogue that follows. If you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them, and, as always, I'll be sipping tea at nat-fic.tumblr.com


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short Epilogue. Slightly NSFW. And a little bitting.

Kylo cared for Hux throughout the rest of his illness, only leaving to maintain order on the ship. After all, both leaders of the _Finalizer_ being out at the same time left some trouble for the crew. Throughout Hux’s sickness, the two often laid together and Kylo always teased Hux, never quite going far enough to change their relationship entirely. However, once Hux was mostly better, the situation changed.

Hux balled Kylo’s collar with his fist and spat, “You did what!”

“You heard me. It was the right decision, General.”

They were lucky that the General’s quarters were soundproof, or else the crew may have been subjected to their constant yelling.

“I don’t care, you did it without consulting me first.”

“You’re still sick,” Kylo said, brushing off Hux’s fist.

“I’m doing better now, but I swear I’m going to kill you,” Hux bit out. From the outside, it would appear that the two hated each other, but Hux’s blatant display of his emotions (anger or otherwise) was something he’d never do in front of anyone he wasn’t entirely comfortable with.

“Trust me, Armitage,” Kylo said before leaning in close to Hux and whispering in his ear, “If you trusted me more, we’d be the fire that conquers the galaxy. You and me - the favorite general and the favorite student. Together, we’re dangerous.”

“Your words are traitorous, Kylo,” Hux replied softly. 

“And yet, your heart is racing...Join me, and we can rule the galaxy together.”

Hux wasn’t entirely sure what came over him, but the next thing he knew they were in his bed. Hux pressed his lips tightly against Kylo’s before moving down to the other man’s neck. His fangs, now entirely under his control, emerged and he bit just hard enough to break the skin. Kylo’s fingers tore and Hux’s clothing as Hux ran his tongue over the area he had bitten, tasting the small drops of blood that emerged. As soon as Hux’s shirt had been torn off, Kylo pushed Hux against the wall and ran his own tongue over the general’s chest, his fingers in Hux’s fur.

One day, perhaps, they would rule the galaxy side-by-side. But in that moment, and the many similar instances that followed, all they saw was each other.

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, you can find me at [nat-fic](http://www.nat-fic.tumblr.com) on Tumblr. Send me an ask about why I have these issues, but remember that you decided to read this in the first place :P


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